Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
