when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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