bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
