I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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