A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
