The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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