ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize