Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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