I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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