I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize