Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
