wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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