Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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