what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
