You can't motorboat a personality
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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