dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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