no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
