My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize