...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
false alarm, still single
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