Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
