u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
