I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize