Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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