You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
