I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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