Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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