she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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