Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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