Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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