bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize
