I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
