Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
