ya dads aren't the best wingmen
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
