Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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