eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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