so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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