Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
