My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize