david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Are we still banned from the library?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
