U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
