I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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