I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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