we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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