How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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