porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
