I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
