somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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