On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
