There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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