Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
