cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
