I can't watch pbs sober anymore
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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