I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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