How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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