Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
