why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
