just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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